Does 40 Bump You From The Playground? - February 2005

There’s a line in the movie, “When Harry Met Sally…” in which Meg Ryan’s character (Sally) is crying on Billy Crystal’s character’s (Harry) shoulder about the fact that her ex-boyfriend was getting married, and that her biological clock was ticking.

“And I’m going to be 40!” cries Sally.

“When?” asks Harry.

“Someday.” sobs Sally.

My “someday” is February 11, and it doesn’t feel like it should be something to cry about. It just sounds really old to be 40. I remember when my mother turned 40 and it seemed really old because I was only 12, and when you’re 12 years old, 25 seems old. By the time I actually was 25, I didn’t think 40 was that ancient anymore, but it still seemed kind of old -- like a different generation. At that time, I had a friend who was 15 years older than I was who would talk about being a teenager in the 60s. He would say things to me like, “Hey, remember ( Woodstock, Neil Armstrong landing on the moon, brown acid, etc.)?”, and I had to remind him that I was a toddler when these things were happening, so, while I had heard of all those things, I didn’t really have any first-hand recollection.

Flash forward 15 years later. I’m pushing 40, and I’m in my daughter’s playgroup. One of the 2-year-olds puts a paper bag over his head, and I make a reference to The Unknown Comic from “The Gong Show.” One of the moms looks at me like I’m from Mars, and I realize that she wasn’t even born until 1976, so she wouldn’t remember the show, which is lucky for her!

So there are times I realize just how old I really am. But for the most part, I don’t let my age stop me from doing most things. Contra Costa Times Deputy Features Editor Deirdre McGruder wrote last month about turning 35, and asked, “Does 40 bump you from the dance floor?” My answer to her would be, yes, if you dance like a total dork (to the point where people are calling the paramedics when they see you dance), and you’re trying to pick up on people half your age. If not, dance away!

But there are some people who feel it’s just not “dignified” to do certain things at certain ages, such as dancing. To them I say, “Phooey!” I don’t let my age stop me from playing on the playground or splashing in puddles with my 2-year-old. In my opinion, unless you have a physical disability that prevents you from doing so, play with kids as much as you can, and you’ll remember how much fun it is!

That itself may be the key to staying young -- being too busy and having too much fun to realize how old you are.