Radio Wars - August 2005

Long car trips with the family produce the usual radio/music wars. I like alternative rock -- Nickelback, Maroon 5, Green Day, Alanis Morrisette and other the like. These days, my 2 ½ year old,rocks out to Laurie Berkner and They Might Be Giants. (Coincidentally, They Might Be Giants were alt rock darlings in the late ‘80s/early ‘90s. If you still don't remember them, they do 'You're Not The Boss of Me', the theme song from 'Malcolm In The Middle'.)

My husband likes "classic rock", a euphemism for "music for middle aged guys who wield a lot of buying power". And since he’s usually driving, that’s what we listen to on the car trips.

Classic rock stations play bands like Led Zepplin, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Van Halen (but only with David Lee Roth), and AC/DC. My theory is that these stations have had the same playlists since parachute pants and leg warmers were cool; then at some point they just became 'classic rock', and it saved them from spending money updating their catalog.

Keep in mind that classic rock isn't considered 'oldies' - that category is for music like The Beach Boys, Buddy Holly and Elvis -- the stuff they play at classic car shows. Even almost 50 years later, I think that music is still fun to listen to -- in small doses, long enough to finish a burger at Mel’s Diner.

My dad, who will be 70 in September, listens to music that was considered “cool” right before the aforementioned oldies began their heyday - Perry Como, Mitch Miller and other clean-cut people who wore cardigans. As a teen, I whined about having to listen to his boring 'funeral music' in his car on car trips. And he would complain about getting into his car the morning after I drove it the night before and being blasted by the screetchings of Def Leppard.

My husband can look forward to similar whining -- “Can we please listen to something from THIS century?' And my husband will say, “What is this garbage you’re listening to? You can’t even understand the words!” And that will just be between him and me this summer.

My dad says that you know you're getting old when the music of your youth is now played on the 'oldies' stations. But it makes you feel good, and you remember how you felt physically, mentally and emotionally the first time you heard it. That's how I feel about 'classic' rock. It makes me wonder what are stations going to call today's music 20 years from now? Neo-classic rock?

Whatever radio stations decide to call it, my grandchildren will call it Funeral Music.