A Cavalcade of Kitty Cats - June 2005

I called Brentwood Veterinary Hospital when my cat was barfing land mines all over the house.

“Is this for Katrina?”, asked the receptionist.

“No, it's for Crystal. Katrina is...gone.”

It got me thinking about the cats I've had over the last 20 years.

The first cat I had as an adult was Bill. My college roommate and I woke up hung over one weekend morning and decided to get a cat. We named him Billy because that Phil Collins song, "Billy Don't You Lose My Number" came on the radio on the way home from the pound. We were also ' Bloom County' fans so we liked having our own Bill the Cat, although our Bill had an IQ slightly higher than a hairball.

After I graduated, Bill moved to Phoenix with me for my first post-college job. He then moved to the Bay Area with me and my first husband. Driving 800 miles with a cat in the middle of July is as much fun as gum surgery. My car still smelled like cat pee even after I sold my car 8 years later.

Bill was joined by Molly in 1992. Molly was an anniversary present from my then-husband, who claimed he hated cats. But Molly managed to convert him into a cat fan. When we got divorced, he wanted to take Molly, but I refused.

A few years later, I met Brian. The first time he came to my house, I warned him that while Molly was a sweet kitty, Bill -- who by then was 15 and an old grouch -- would probably just come in to eat, and leave. But he didn't. He bypassed his food bowl to nuzzle Brian. That's why I had a feeling Bran was “The One”.

I was planning my wedding to Brian, when Bill got an abscess on his leg. After it healed, he went outside and never came back. I'd like to think he curled up quietly under a tree and went gently to the Great Litterbox in the Sky. But I lived near a wash populated by coyotes.

After the honeymoon, Brian and I got our first cat together. I named him Kevin, and I was actually sober when I named him. Kevin and Molly never got along too well, but that was probably because Molly developed a degenerative kidney disease, and just wasn’t into playing with a rambunctious orange kitten.

Eventually, we had to put Molly down. Kevin was lonely, so Brian got Katrina.

A month before I had our daughter, Kevin disappeared in the same fashion Bill did. So we got Jimmy to keep Katrina company.

Last August, Katrina, who was an indoor cat, decided to venture outside for more than 10 minutes for the first time. Exit Katrina, enter Crystal. Crystal was a pound kitty who just had a litter, even though she was still a kitten herself.

It turns out Crystal just had a bad reaction to some new cat food, so the revolving cat door is still closed.